DisorderYour Score
Major Depression:Extremely High
Bipolar Disorder:Very High
Cyclothymia:Extremely High
Seasonal Affective Disorder:Very High
Postpartum Depression:N/A
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346209 Reblog

20 hours ago




my year 8 students had to do a budgeting activity pretending they were living out of home on $2000 a month and I find this written on there help I can’t fucking breathe

We had to do this and I was partnered with a boy whose parents are a scientist and a doctor. My family spawned the book: Top Drawer Villain - autobiography of a London criminal.
First of all, we had to choose where we would shop. He wanted to buy from Booths. “We are not buying from Booths," I snapped. "Get on Asda’s website right now." His face froze.
“A-Asda?" he whispered. "But that’s where… The Lower Classes shop.”
This was a good start.
We then had to decide on a menu. We started on breakfast. “Toast," he said.
“Toast," I said. "Great. Look, Asda has its own wholemeal—”
“Warburton’s thick-slice white bread. Nothing else. With olive oil.”
“You WHAT?" I choked. "You have olive oil, on your toast, in the morning?”
He frowned. “Who doesn’t?”
“Okay," I said, "but what will the children eat?”
He gaped at me. “The children? We have children?”
We continued. All was well until it came to what we would have on our sandwiches. We even sorted out the children’s lunch - they, of course, would get free school meals. “Yes," he agreed; "if we can’t even afford Bertolli then they can get school meals on the government.”
He asked what dressing we should have on our ham. “Nuh-uh," I said. "Can’t have ham. I’m vegetarian.”
“But I’m not.”
“Yes, but we’re married and we can only afford one sandwich filler so it has to be vege—”
“We’re married!?”
“Of course we’re married! You’re devout Christian - how do you think I convinced you to have children?”
He shook his head, frowning. “Well I want ham. You’ll have to put back the washing powder - I need ham on my sandwiches.”
We continued. Finally, it was dinner. “Okay," he said, clearly thinking hard; "for dinner, we can have… Chicken nuggets and… Beans?”
“Vegetarian nuggets then. And beans.”
“We need vegetables. The children have to have a balanced diet.”
“You and your children!" he yelled, and the whole class looked around.
“They’re your children too!" I screamed back.
He leapt to his feet, shaking his head and looking distraught. “I don’t believe it - I don’t believe you! I wouldn’t have your children!”
“Please," I cried, standing up also. "Don’t—”
“I want a divorce!”
And he walked out of the classroom.
The teacher stood up and stared between me and the door through which he had vanished. “I’m sorry," I whispered, "but we couldn’t do it any more. There were just too many differences - I can’t live with someone who thinks champagne is a budget.”
I can’t wait to see this guy when he gets to university.

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1 day ago

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1 day ago



King of the jungle

the noise i made was not human
644811 Reblog

1 day ago


A possum broke into an Australian bakery and ate so many pastries it couldn’t move. This is how they found him.

I live for this post
374664 Reblog

1 day ago



Notes from Management [ardentleprechaun]

Shane is my role model. 

Anyone who can do all this and remain employed MUST be a crazy good worker.

(via wearethemisfitsofthew0rld)

169250 Reblog

1 day ago


Three years later, a new girl sits cross-legged on your bed.
She tastes like a different flavor of bubblegum than you are used to.
She opens up a book that you had to read in high school, and a folded picture of us falls out of chapter three.
Now there are two unfinished stories resting in her lap.
Inevitably, she asks, and you tell her.

You say: I dated her a while back.
You don’t say: Sometimes, when I’m holding you, I imagine the smell of her vanilla perfume.

You say: She was younger than me.
You don’t say: The sixteen summers in her bones warmed the eighteen winters my skin had weathered.

You say: It’s nothing now.
You don’t say: But it was everything then.


Some things are better left unsaid (via dearalexandra)

Well this fucked me up…..

(via l0veb4lust)

(Source: poppyflowerpoetry, via wearethemisfitsofthew0rld)

372832 Reblog

3 days ago




Body comparisons. 

this makes me feel alive


(via wedontneed-societysapproval)

540265 Reblog

6 days ago





hold on, lemme just grab this FREAKING BASEBALL FLYING AT YOUR HEAD AT 100 MPH for a second ouchie my hand

her mouth is hanging open ldkjlgkj

I’d like to speak to you about the Avengers Initiative.

He’s got game.
9740 Reblog

6 days ago

99017 Reblog

6 days ago

440746 Reblog

6 days ago


my upload <3 :’)
10115 Reblog

6 days ago

(Source: turnsgold, via smartassmd)

21423 Reblog

6 days ago


inspired by [x]

(via smartassmd)

783664 Reblog

1 week ago



Is it just me or you don’t really realise how drunk you are until you are in a bathroom alone???


(via foreverandalifetimeago)

280653 Reblog

2 weeks ago


coming out of your room at 3 am and seeing your parents


(via theoriginalmeezy)

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